


Ash on the Floor

by lq_traintracks (lumosed_quill)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Kissing, M/M, Masturbation, Sibling Incest, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-25
Updated: 2015-03-25
Packaged: 2018-03-19 14:43:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3613788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lumosed_quill/pseuds/lq_traintracks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Regulus spends his Christmases in Sirius' old room.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ash on the Floor

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hikarievandar](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=hikarievandar).



Regulus Black spends his Christmases locked away in Sirius' old room. He wards the door and turns up the Wireless. _Draught of Living Death_ rages with their grinding guitars and _Sonorus_ 'd vocals. They were his brother's favourite, and Regulus couldn't stand the sound of it coming from this room before Regulus was old enough to cast a privacy charm on his own.

He's now the age his brother was when he left.

Now it's Regulus in this room, Regulus blaring the music, Regulus hating his family.

Except for Sirius, who he loves and hates both.

He sits on Sirius' bed, back to the headboard, and he lights a cigarette. They're stale, the ones Sirius left here when he ran away in the middle of the night. Regulus doesn't mind. They smell like him. They taste like memories.

Sirius left a load of his clothes, too. Regulus sometimes tries them on.

Sirius' jeans. His jackets. His shirts. His socks. His pants.

Regulus should be ashamed, but he likes to sit on his brother's bed, in his brother's clothes, and smoke his brother's old fags.

He blows smoke up toward the ceiling and the poster of the two busty witches and one lucky wizard getting it on mid-flight and remembers finding the porn Sirius hid best. The stacks of magazines behind the loose board in the closet, under the tinkered-with _Notice Me Not_ charm.

Regulus is a better wizard than Sirius. He can find Sirius' gay porn if he wants to.

And he wants to.

He knows why Sirius left now. It's not just because of Regulus. It's not just from bitterness and hatred and neglect. He left for James Potter's cock. And for love. Sirius is Gryffindor. He'd have never left if not for love.

Regulus flicks ash over the side of the bed onto the floor. He palms his prick through the well-worn denim. Sirius has wanked plenty here. Right here.

Sirius has done more than wank.

The Potter boy used to sneak in sometimes, late at night. Regulus would hear them try to contain their laughter before they put the wards back up. Sometimes he'd hear bedsrpings even through the heavy magic. Or maybe he'd just imagined that.

Maybe he'd imagined the sound of his brother's prolonged orgasm. 

_In Potter's hand? His mouth?_

Maybe Regulus had imagined his own.

He lights another fag from the tip of the other, crushing one out while he drags. It's starting to snow. The flakes are fat and asymmetrical and look somehow warm, insulating.

Soon, his mother will scream for him. Soon, they'll expect their good son to come be bad with them.

Regulus turns up the Wireless and squeezes his prick through his brother's jeans. He watches the black ground disappear under a world of white. It's so quiet. He imagines Sirius being the one to sneak back in tonight. Imagines cold hands gripping the stone, his boots scrabbling for purchase.

And Regulus imagines opening the window to him, pulling him inside, Sirius' cheeks rosy with life. 

_I miss you, Reg._

Words he's never heard.

A kiss he's never felt. The heat and intimacy when Regulus invites him to do it with the surrendered tilt of his head and it turns open-mouthed.

Whiskey and tobacco and scruff.

Sirius' shivering skin warming under his hands.

But Sirius isn't coming back now. He's never coming back. There's not enough love inside these walls. Not even beating inside Regulus' chest. Not that Sirius ever knew about anyway. Regulus has played his part well. He's suffered his duty.

So the only choice is for Regulus to leave, too. Someday.

Someday, he knows he will. 

Someday, he'll leave this place for good.

For now, he closes his eyes, lowers the zip on his brother's jeans, and snow falls on the windowsill. 

Ash falls on the floor.


End file.
